The Loop NFL Picks: Week 5

Chiefs at Vikings (+5½)

Swifties are all abuzz wondering whether Travis Kelce’s new pal, Taylor Swift, will be in Minneapolis on Sunday for this Super Bowl IV rematch. If the pop star passes on the chance to watch the 1-3 Vikings, it will be the biggest disappointment for Minnesota music fans since Lizzo’s last few lawsuits.
Pick: Chiefs by 8

From left, Taylor Swift, Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman react during the first quarter of an NFL football game between the New York Jets and the Kansas City Chiefs, Sunday, Oct. 1, 2023, in East Rutherford, N.J. (AP Photo/Adam Hunger)

Packers at Raiders (+1½)

A Green Bay fan raised eyebrows last week by pouring his beer on Detroit’s Amon-Ra St. Brown when he did a Lambeau Leap after scoring a touchdown. HIstorians have stressed for years that there’s no rarer site on Earth than a Cheesehead sacrificing even a drop of intoxicants.
Pick: Packers by 3

GREEN BAY, WISCONSIN – SEPTEMBER 28: Amon-Ra St. Brown #14 of the Detroit Lions celebrates with fans after scoring a touchdown against the Green Bay Packers during the first quarter in the game at Lambeau Field on September 28, 2023 in Green Bay, Wisconsin. (Photo by Patrick McDermott/Getty Images)

Eagles at Rams (+4½)

A Philadelphia fan cried foul last week when he was barred from bringing his emotional-support alligator into a Phillies game. He would have been admitted to a football game in the same city because a gator is much less likely to bite people than Eagles fans are.
Pick: Eagles by 7

(Facebook photo)

Panthers at Lions (-8½)

Detroit quarterback Jared Goff, who has the Lions off to a 3-1 start, got all testy when former QB Ryan Fitzpatrick called him “a poor man’s Matt Ryan” on NFL Network. Goff much prefers to be known as a rich man’s Joe Flacco.
Pick: Lions by 10

Detroit Lions quarterback Jared Goff (16) warms up during an NFL football game between the Green Bay Packers and Detroit Lions Thursday, Sept. 28, 2023, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Matt Ludtke)

Saints at Patriots (-1½)

New England coach Bill Belichick benched Mac Jones in the blowout loss to Dallas because there was “no sense leaving him in the game.” This fueled speculation that former Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling convinced Belichick that Jones was a cancer.
Pick: Patriots by 3

FOXBOROUGH, MASSACHUSETTS – SEPTEMBER 17: Head coach Bill Belichick of the New England Patriots talks to Mac Jones #10 during the fourth quarter against the Miami Dolphins at Gillette Stadium on September 17, 2023 in Foxborough, Massachusetts. (Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images)

Jaguars vs Bills (-5½)

Duval County’s Jaguars are playing their second consecutive game in London. But unlike last week’s “Toy Story” contest against Atlanta, this game won’t be a three-hour infomercial for regurgitated Disney product.
Pick: Bills by 11

(X photo)

Titans at Colts (-1½)

The AFC South is clearly the NFL’s most uninspiring division as all four teams are an underwhelming 2-2. Analysts agree it’s the most uninspiring display of mediocrity since the last presidential debate.
Pick: Titans by 3

INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA – OCTOBER 01: Anthony Richardson #5 of the Indianapolis Colts fumbles the ball against Ernest Jones #53 of the Los Angeles Rams and Jordan Fuller #4 of the Los Angeles Rams during the first quarter at Lucas Oil Stadium on October 01, 2023 in Indianapolis, Indiana. (Photo by Dylan Buell/Getty Images)

Giants at Dolphins (-9½)

Miami got waterboarded in Buffalo, giving up 48 points one week after posting 70 against Denver. It’s obvious the Dolphins probably won’t be scoring 70 again anytime soon, except for in their practice scrimmages against their own defense.
Pick: Dolphins by 17

ORCHARD PARK, NEW YORK – OCTOBER 01: Josh Allen #17 of the Buffalo Bills runs the ball for a touchdown against the Miami Dolphins during the fourth quarter at Highmark Stadium on October 01, 2023 in Orchard Park, New York. (Photo by Timothy T Ludwig/Getty Images)

Bengals at Cardinals (+3½)

Cincinnati wideout Ja’Marr Chase was agitated by the Bengals’ latest loss, complaining that he’s “always (expletive) open.” That message was eventually relayed to Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow after he was scraped off the turf and revived.
Pick: Cardinals by 3

NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE – OCTOBER 01: Ja’Marr Chase #1 of the Cincinnati Bengals celebrates against the Tennessee Titans during the first quarter at Nissan Stadium on October 01, 2023 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)

Jets at Broncos (-2½)

It’s the grudge match of Denver coaches as Sean Payton faces off against his predecessor, New York offensive coordinator Nathaniel Hackett. Payton is so desperate to stop the Jets’ attack that he’s considering hiring 11 new guys to play defense.
Pick: Jets by 3

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS – OCTOBER 01: Head coach Sean Payton of the Denver Broncos watches game action against the Chicago Bears during the second half at Soldier Field on October 01, 2023 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Michael Reaves/Getty Images)

Other games

Cowboys at 49ers (-3½):
Pick: 49ers by 7

Texans at Falcons (-1½):
Pick: Texans by 3

Ravens at Steelers (+4½):
Pick: Ravens by 14

ARLINGTON, TEXAS – JANUARY 16: Dak Prescott #4 of the Dallas Cowboys scrambles with the ball on the last play of the game against the San Francisco 49ers during the fourth quarter in the NFC Wild Card Playoff game at AT&T Stadium on January 16, 2022 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Richard Rodriguez/Getty Images)

Bye week

Browns, Chargers, Seahawks, Buccaneers

Cleveland Browns quarterback Deshaun Watson (4) is sacked by Pittsburgh Steelers defensive tackle Larry Ogunjobi during the second half of an NFL football game in Pittsburgh, Sunday, Jan. 8, 2023. The Steelers won 28-14. (AP Photo/Don Wright)

Record

Week 4
11-5 straight up
9-7 vs. spread
Season
42-22 straight up (.656)
35-29 vs. spread (.547)

You can hear Kevin Cusick on Wednesdays on Bob Sansevere’s “BS Show” podcast on iTunes. You can follow Kevin on Twitter — @theloopnow. He can be reached at [email protected].

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